Jason Bourne vs. Ethan Hunt vs. James Bond

69

By sherryboom

Jason B, Ethan H, and James B pointing guns
See all 4 photos
Jason B, Ethan H, and James B pointing guns
dropping bikes to save the day
dropping bikes to save the day
outrunning explosions
outrunning explosions
dancing maybe?
dancing maybe?

Pros/cons on Jason Bourne, Ethan Hunt, and James Bond in order to figure out who would kick whose ass.

Jason Bourne-
PRO - Amnesia. He doesn't know what he knows, so he's dangerous.
CON - Amnesia. He doesn't know what he knows, so does he know anything?
PRO - Fighting ability. Pens are dangerous again.
CON - Inability to kick someones ass with a bullet. Why all the hand to hand, B?
PRO - Driving skills. Can turn your old jalopy into a kick ass escapemobile.
CON - Injuries. Jumping through windows and crashing cars on purpose looks cool but it's actually dumb. Bit suicidal.
PRO - No trust. Gets shit done without a team.
CON - No trust. With no one to trust it pretty much sucks to be you.

Ethan Hunt-
PRO - Brains. Always figures out shit. Or the bad guys are just really dumb.
CON - Too cocky. We get it, you're used to doing the impossible.
PRO - Running. He outran water. Nuff said.
CON - Emotional. He's either really angry or really sad or just smarmy.
PRO - Ninja. Does crazy stunts and never gets injured. Except that time his head nearly blew up.
CON - Can't keep a girl. Women like him until he's done saving their ass.
PRO - Team. Always gets a fawesome team and they always live. Most of the time anyway.
CON - Team. Without one it'd take him like 10x longer to get shit done.

James Bond-
PRO - Gadgets.
CON - Gadgets. James Bond without his gadgets is pretty much a fish out of water.
PRO - Charming. Somehow he always gets the girl, even if he's really hairy and really unattractive Sean Connery.
CON - Booze. Drinks all the time, which can't help with aiming a gun.
PRO - British. I don't even know why this is a pro.
CON - Can't run. I don't remember seeing him run very far.
PRO - Kicks ass. Sword fighting, parkour, parachuting, rolling around (sexually and no), and avoiding explosions.
CON - STDs from the 340394093043 women. That would slow anyone down.

So in my analyzing, James Bond goes first. Probably from looking at some broad and getting distracted. Jason Bourne almost wins but he and Ethan Hunt die at the same time OR they both almost die and decide to join forces. So begins world peace.

Who do you think would win? Leave me a comment.

Comments

ChaplinSpeaks profile image

ChaplinSpeaks Level 5 Commenter 5 months ago

I'm going to say Bond. He may not always have the brawn or the speed, but he has the experience, incredible luck, and the unfailing charisma. Bourne a close second with his cold-hearted calculation. Sorry, Hunt.

Paradise7 profile image

Paradise7 Level 7 Commenter 5 months ago

I gotta say Bond, as well. He keeps his cool so well, where Bourne always looks a bit harrassed and on the edge of losing his mind altogether. Loved this, by the way. Do more, so I can read it!

Hunt...eh, well.

vtstorm22 profile image

vtstorm22 5 months ago

Bond. just think about all of the actors who played him... thats like what? seven bonds? (give or take).

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